


Tug-of-War

by Stray_Lilly



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University Sibling Rivalry, Anal Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, Explicit Sexual Content, First Dates, Fluff, Jeongin and Felix are the same age, M/M, Self-Discovery, Smut, Tags to be added, Ten year age gap between Jeongin and Chan, relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:47:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29715999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stray_Lilly/pseuds/Stray_Lilly
Summary: His first year at university was supposed to be fun - the first taste of freedom. But things become complex when he gets dragged into the middle of a feud between two brothers, one of them his best friend and the other, his first potential boyfriend.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28
Collections: AGIBBANG FEST





	1. First Impressions, Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I wrote this for prompt #0081  
> Thank you to the prompter 💕

Jeongin had planned in detail what his first year – and subsequent years – at university would be like. Fun, freedom, and Felix – the three words that defined Jeongin’s plans. Well, that was until Felix ditched him for Cambridge. Alright, fine, Jeongin would have too if he had at least half of the genius brain that Felix possessed. Cambridge was way out of Jeongin’s league. Honestly, he was lucky that he scraped admission into Seoul University. 

He’d always known that Felix was destined for great things. Great things that didn’t include him. But hey – they could always video call – according to Felix at least. Except, Felix hadn’t even been replying to Jeongin’s texts since he got settled in Cambridge a week ago. 

“You could look at least a little bit happy, you know,” his father said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “First day of freedom and all that.”

Yeah, but Felix wasn’t there to share it with him.

“I’m happy,” he muttered, ignoring the skeptical look his father sent his way.

“Is this about Felix?” his father asked, curiosity getting the better of him. Jeongin knew both his mother and father were burning with curiosity about what had happened with him and Felix. They hadn’t parted on good terms. And both families were aware of it too.

“Dad, please,” he shook off his father’s hand. “Let’s not ruin today.” Anymore than it already was ruined. He looked for a distraction and found one in the form of his mother. “Mom.” Jeongin stood with his hands jammed into the front pockets of his jeans, watching as his mother began to unzip his suitcase. “Mom, seriously, don’t do that,” he whined, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder. “I think I can manage that on my own.”

The stubborn woman gave him a doubtful look and jerked her head towards the closet. “Open that. Let’s see how much space we have to work with.”

“Mom, come on!” Jeongin rubbed the sides of his face in frustration. He turned to his father for assistance, but the snickering man only shrugged, standing amused beside Jeongin. “Dad, make her stop.”

His father sighed and punched his shoulder. “She’s just worried,” he whispered. “We both are. It’s your first time away from home, you know. And…” he shook his head and trailed off with a sigh. He didn’t have to say it.  _ And Felix isn’t with you _ .

“Busan is just three hours away,” Jeongin argued, stretching his neck to get a glimpse of the hallway again. It was moving in day, and although the dorm had been pretty busy an hour ago, students were beginning to say goodbye to their parents. But Jeongin’s mother… 

“What do you think of these blinds?” she asked, jerking her head to the peach shades covering the window over Jeongin’s desk. “We can always get a nice curtain or—”

“Hello.”

The Yang family whipped around in unison, in what would’ve been a comically dramatic moment in a movie. But any amusement was drowned out by the utter frustration he felt after an hour of trying to get his parents to leave. And at the sight of the young man standing in the doorway, Jeongin’s frustration melted into embarrassment. His roommate had arrived, and there were no overbearing parents in sight – must be nice.

“Han Jisung,” the blonde held out a hand, and there was an awkward moment where Jeongin’s father reached out to shake Jisung’s hand before Jeongin could. 

“Jeongin,” he introduced himself with a nervous smile. “My parents were just uh…” A flush colored his cheeks. “I hope you don’t mind that I took the left side of the room.”

Jisung grinned and shook his head. “It’s all the same, man. So you ready for orientation?”

“Orientation?” Jeongin’s mother chirped with wide eyes. “Wasn’t that last month?”

“Actually,” Jisung cleared his throat, “that was the  _ first _ orientation. The  _ second _ one is soon. We better hurry up, Jeongin.”

Jeongin racked his brain to recall anything about a second orientation, but when Jisung gave him an exasperated look, he got it. Whoever this guy was, he was a life-saver. “Yeah, I almost forgot about that! It was on the website! Mom, dad,” he tried to sound as apologetic as possible, “I have to go.”

His parents exchanged worried glances, but thankfully they didn’t protest. They took an infuriating ten minutes to say goodbye, his mother teary-eyed at the end of it. “Don’t forget,” his mother warned, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, “You have that personal tour later.”

“I told you,” Jeongin pulled away from his mother, “I don’t need a personal tour. I can find my way around just fine.”

“Jieun insisted,” his mother said, her tone one of finality. Jieun, Felix’s mother, had taken it upon herself to make up for Felix’s absence by enlisting her older son to give Jeongin a tour. It was unnecessary and embarrassing. 

“A personal tour, huh?” Jisung chuckled when Jeongin’s parents left. “Aren’t the hundreds of signboards around campus enough?”

“My parents are just being ridiculous,” Jeongin huffed, flopping onto his bed. “Everyone’s being ridiculous.” Everyone was behaving as if Jeongin couldn’t function without Felix. But he was determined to.

“Just get it over with,” Jisung shrugged. “So who’s giving you this tour?”

“My best friend’s older brother,” Jeongin said. “Someone I haven’t seen in years.” 

“Might be awkward,” Jisung grimaced, voicing Jeongin’s own thoughts. “If you need to get away, just say you have a second orientation to get to.”

Jeongin snorted. “Yeah, he’s been a student here for a while so I doubt that one will work on him.”

“Well…” Jisung struggled with the zipper on his suitcase. “Maybe he’ll be eager to get rid of you too.”

Jeongin grimaced, about to agree, when his phone began buzzing in his hand. An unknown number flashed across the screen and he hesitated for a second, heading out into the hallway before answering. It might be Felix.

“Hello?”

“Jeongin?” The voice was unfamiliar and he could hear the sound of a car engine running in the background.

“It’s Chris – uh… Chan.”

Oh.  _ Oh _ . Oh? Jeongin flushed a deep shade of red, unsure of exactly why he was so flustered. “Hi uh… Chris. Chan. Um, hyung.” He cringed, “I don’t know what to call you.”

A boyish laugh sounded on the other end of the line. The sound invoked a somersault in Jeongin’s stomach, and then it travelled a little lower. Was he really getting turned on by a laugh? 

“Call me whatever you want. And it’s not like you bothered with honorifics either when you were younger.”

The good-natured teasing made Jeongin chuckle. “Chan,” he settled for the most comfortable name. Back when they were younger, Chan’s friends would call him Chris, but Jeongin had never been a friend so it was always  _ Chan _ for him – the same way people who didn’t know Felix called him by – much to his annoyance – Yongbok.

Jeongin had been seven when the Australian family moved into the neighbourhood. Felix and Jeongin were inseparable since then, and it would have been natural for Felix’s brother to have been a part of Jeongin’s childhood too. Yet strangely enough, the Bang siblings were never fond of each other’s company. On the contrary, they seemed to detest each other. 

Chan was the oldest of the two– with an entire six years separating him from Felix. So when Jeongin had been making mudpies with Felix, Chan had already been a teenager, navigating the ins and outs of social relationships and no time to spare for his younger siblings. 

Felix had always expressed his discontent at being the child his parents never planned for. The unexpected arrival. Much to Jeongin’s chagrin, Felix called himself a blemish on the Lee family portrait. But he knew Felix felt that way for a reason. Chan had always exceled at everything, pushing Felix to work even harder than he needed to. That was probably how he scored a place at Cambridge – a bid to outdo his brother.

For a long time, Chan had been the standard that Jeongin and Felix held themselves to.

_ One day, we’ll be able to go on overnight trips too. _

_ One day, we’ll be able to get drunk behind the school hall too. _

_ One day, we’ll be able to kiss girls at the park too. _

(Fair enough, that last one was void, considering that between Jeongin and Felix. only the latter enjoyed kissing girls.)

But there came a point where Chan stopped having any relevance in their lives. His presence was scarce as he opted to spend most holidays in Seoul, especially when he found his own apartment there. He barely came up in conversations either. 

And when Felix and Jeongin began high school, Chan’s visits to Busan came to a complete halt, because the family opted to spend the holidays in Seoul instead. Those were always difficult times for Jeongin, because he missed Felix so much. And perhaps he even detested Chan a bit for taking Felix away.

“I wanted to apologise…” Chan said, trailing off with a sigh. “I know I was supposed to show you around today. But I have to work late.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” Jeongin felt a rush of relief, glad to be saved from the embarrassment of being treated like a pre-schooler. “I’m sure I can find my way around.”

“I’ll make it up to you though,” Chan announced, his voice growing alarmingly sweet. Almost… suggestive? No. Fuck, no. Jeongin had to be imagining things. “Maybe we can grab something to eat tomorrow. My treat?”

“You don’t have to do that, really,” Jeongin said, scooping his mind off the gutter and screwing his head on properly. “It’s all good.”

“Nah, I want to. It’ll be nice to catch up, right?”

Jeongin quirked a brow. Would it? Be nice to catch up? It’s not like they’d been close… But hey, maybe Chan was just fulfilling another request from Jieun. “Sure.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow then.”

“Or you can just text.” 

Chan hummed contemplatively, “Why? Do you not like the sound of my voice?”

“What? No – I – I was just – I really like your voice—” Jeongin spluttered, cut short by another bout of laughter. His cheeks were burning at this point. 

“I’m just teasing, you know.”

He cleared his throat, still feeling liable to explain himself. “I just meant, if texting is easier for you…”

“I’ll call you,” Chan said. “Since you really like my voice.”

Jeongin made a noise that was halfway between a protest and a whine. He wasn’t always this awkward over phone calls. Chan just caught him off guard. 

When Jeongin returned to his room, Jisung wasn’t alone. A tall blonde perched on Jeongin’s bed. 

“Hyunjin, second year,” the blonde grinned. “And you must be Jeongin. I just came by to invite you guys to a party.”

“A  _ party _ ?” Jeongin raised an eyebrow, wondering just how good of an idea it was to go to a party the day before he started classes. As things stood, he already needed five alarms to wake up in the morning; if he was hung-over, he’d need twenty.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin pushed to his feet with energy that Jeongin envied. “You know, a social occasion often at a person’s home, at which people eat, drink, talk, dance and enjoy themselves.”

Jeongin stared. “Did you just quote from the dictionary?”

Hyunjin shrugged, innocently twirling a long blonde lock of hair around a finger. “What can I say? I’m a smart guy.” He winked at Jeongin and then grinned at Jisung. “Bring him with you,” he said, jerking his head towards Jeongin. “Looks like he could use some entertainment.”

Jeongin waited for Hyunjin to leave before interrogating Jisung. “Do you know that guy?”

Jisung grimaced, scratching the back of his neck, “Ah, you know… Just met him this morning.” 

Jeongin didn’t buy that but he let it go. 

“So,” Jisung wiggled his brows, “you coming tonight?”

Jeongin chewed on his lip as he deliberated. What would Felix do?

Back in high school Jeongin had been to his fair share of parties. Jaeyun and Kwangsu had been the kings of out-of-control parties, most of which ended up with a police officer knocking on their doors. He imagined that college parties would be more of the same – getting drunk, dancing, getting drunk, finding a hookup for the night, and getting drunk. 

He was right. This was exactly like the parties back home, except on a grander scale. There were far more people than there had been in Jeongin’s senior class. And the liquor being passed around… The expensive stuff – and it obviously wasn’t stolen from a parent’s liquor cabinet. Actually, from the strange smell in the air, there was more than just alcohol being passed around. 

Jisung seemed thrilled to be there, practically bouncing up and down. “Hey,” he said, placing an arm around Jeongin’s shoulders and shouting to be heard over the music, “get busy with something! There’s stuff I need to do!” Jeongin nodded, watching as Jisung headed towards a large staircase. 

He stood idly, feeling alone despite the crowd around him. If Felix had been there… Jeongin shook his head. He could  _ not _ let his thoughts travel in that direction, He needed a drink.

He found solace in the kitchen where several bottles were lined up on the counter, as well as a lonely keg of beer that was being largely ignored. Jeongin felt a lot like that keg of beer. He snorted out a laugh, and in solidarity with the keg, decided to forgo the hard stuff in favour for beer that tasted like something had died in his mouth. He should’ve just taken a shot of vodka. He eyed the bottle, but a snippet of conversation about their host caught his attention.

“I swear, I’m going to kill Hyunjin,” the man was saying, leaning against the counter. “He did this last year too. I mean it’s understandable wanting to be popular and maintain that popularity but these parties always get out of hand.”

“Your parents don’t care,” his red haired companion shrugged his shoulders. “So why do you?”

Oh, was the brunette Hyunjin’s brother?

“Someone has to care, Minho.”

Jeongin suddenly felt as if he was intruding. But there were around twenty people crammed into the kitchen and the two men didn’t seem bothered. He eyed the doorway and incoming foot traffic, choosing to hang back so that he didn’t get trampled on his way out.

A sudden roar from the brunette caught Jeongin by surprise and he swore under his breath when he sloshed beer onto his white t-shirt. He hoped his denim jacket would cover the stain. 

He looked up to see the source of the brunette’s sudden… happiness? Yeah, he seemed happy, pulling someone in for a hug. 

“Ah, the prodigal son returns,” the redhead, Minho, laughed and clapped the newcomer on his back before ruffling his dark hair.

Jeongin studied the back of the man they were both embracing. While most of the students at the party were dressed either casually or were just scantily clad, this man wore a black button down shirt half tucked into formal slacks. He carried a pinstripe blazer over his arm. 

When he spoke, his voice rang a bell – no, an  _ alarm _ – in Jeongin’s mind, but he just couldn’t place it.

“I’m away for a week and you’re already throwing parties, Bin?”

The accent… Australian? Jeongin’s eyes widened. But there was probably more than just one Australian at Seoul University, right? 

The brunette laughed, “I guess this is Hyunjin’s annual ‘welcome back to hell’ party.’”

The Australian laughed, a boyish laugh that filtered through the music. Oh, that was a familiar laugh. Oh. Oh no. Jeongin tried to crane his neck to get a look at the man’s face. Could it be…?

“Hey, Chan, that kid’s checking you out!” the redhead snorted and Jeongin turned a hundred shades of red.

He froze in place when Chan turned around and they locked eyes. Chan’s eyes grew wide, his gaze traveling down Jeongin’s body and back up to his face. “Yang Jeongin.”

Jeongin could only stare. Because holy shit – Chan definitely wasn’t the lanky teen Jeongin saw off to university. His dark, slightly mussed hair was brushed away from his face, revealing his handsome features. Jeongin’s lips parted in awe as he soaked in the broad shoulders and veiny hands. Yep, definitely not lanky anymore. And Jeongin noted with a start that he was slightly taller than Chan now. Whoa. 

He realized that he must look different too. They’d met before obviously, but it was as though they were redoing their first impressions. Even though Chan didn’t seem as dumbstruck as he was, he seemed stunned. Jeongin no longer had those chunky braces. And his hair, now dyed a bright shade of blue thanks to Felix, was no longer cropped criminally short. Jeongin often heard people saying that he grew into his looks. He never really appreciated that he did until now.

“Wow, fancy seeing you here,” Chan grinned, his dimples prevalent. He turned to the brunette, “I thought Hyunjin wasn’t inviting any first years.”

The man beside him shrugged. “He wasn’t.” He fixed Jeongin with a hard stare. “How’d you get in here, kid?” And Jeongin really hated being called ‘kid’. It made him feel like one. And he was a fucking adult.

Felix would have been pissed off if someone spoke to him that way. Yeah, well, Jeongin was pissed off too.

He clenched his jaw and replied, “Hyunjin invited me. He invited my roommate too. And we’re  _ both _ first years. Maybe you don’t know your brother as well as you think you do.”

“Oh really?” the brunette advanced towards him, but Chan placed an arm around the man’s shoulders.

“Changbin, just leave it alone. Why don’t you go check on Hyunjin? I want to spend some time with my friend Jeongin over here, okay?” He gave Jeongin a wink that – God, help him – went straight to his dick. 

Changbin gave Jeongin a deathly glare before extracting himself from Chan’s grip and heading for the living room. 

“So much drama,” Minho sighed, a smirk on his lips. “So who’s your  _ friend _ , Chan?”

“We grew up together,” Chan said in explanation. “Let’s head out onto the patio,” he suggested. “Somewhere we can actually hear ourselves.”

The patio was empty except for a couple sitting on the stairs. Chan, Minho and Jeongin ignored them, taking a seat on the cushioned chairs. “How was your trip?” Minho asked.

Chan rolled his eyes. “Same bullshit. Mr Gwan had me carrying his briefcase the entire time.”

Jeongin frowned, “I thought you were still a student.”

“Oh, I am,” Chan said, an arm thrown casually around the back of Jeongin’s chair. “Final year of law school.”

“Oh,” Jeongin was taken aback by this. He hadn’t really given much thought to what Chan had been studying. It made sense now why he’d spent so many years at university.

Chan began to explain how he took two years off after obtaining his degree in political science. “I didn’t know what to do with myself,” he laughed. “Minho had no clue what he was doing either. So for two years we travelled and did volunteer work. Eventually we both decided to give law school a shot. I work part time for a firm now. Nothing major, just menial tasks, but the experience is great.”

Jeongin listened, growing tired as Chan and Minho discussed work. Again, Jeongin felt alone. He was there but not really part of the conversation. He realized that he hadn’t seen Jisung in a while and rose to his feet. Maybe it was time they headed back to campus. 

“Going somewhere?” 

With the escalating intensity of the conversation, Jeongin was surprised that Chan had actually noticed him leaving. “Yeah, I’m just going to look for my friend. I haven’t seen him since we got here. And I think we better head back so…”

“I’ll come with you.”

Jeongin began to protest but Chan insisted that he knew his way around the house. Jeongin couldn’t argue with that.

They pressed through a sea of dancing bodies, and Chan reached out to take Jeongin’s hand, pulling him through the crowd. Jeongin’s stomach did a somersault, and another when Chan didn’t let go of his hand as they trudged up the staircase.

They stood on the landing, peering down the hallway. “Think he’s somewhere around here?”

“Uh…” Jeongin shrugged, his train of thought interrupted when Chan brushed his thumb over his knuckles. He stared down at their linked hands. What is this? What were they doing? And why the fuck did it feel so natural, so comfortable?

He didn’t know Chan. The only thing he really knew about him was that he was Felix’s brother, and that alone was reason enough for them to  _ not _ be holding hands. But Jeongin couldn’t let go. It just felt… nice.

“So I’m guessing,” Chan sighed, leading him down the hallway, dodging stumbling students and couples making out against the walls, “he’s in one of the three guest bedrooms.” 

“You’ve been here often?” Jeongin asked. It was a stupid question considering that Chan and Changbin seemed like such good friends. Of course he would be at Changbin’s house often.

Chan didn’t laugh at him, but instead steered him into an open doorway. “I met Changbin in my first year. We’ve had our fair share of group study sessions and movie nights here. His parents are pretty chill, you know?”

Jeongin nodded, recalling the conversation he’d heard in the kitchen. He glanced around the guest bedroom. There were a group of five sitting in a circle and playing some kind of drinking game, but no sign of Jisung.

They moved on to the next room, almost walking into a couple that had been exiting, their clothes all dishevelled. Jeongin averted his eyes, but furrowed his brow in surprise when Chan pulled him into the empty room. “I know you’re in a hurry to get back,” Chan said with a nervous smile that really didn’t suit the confidence he strutted around with, “but do you think you can spare me a minute? I’d like to show you something.”

“Sure,” Jeongin said without hesitation. His stomach clenched in nervous anticipation. He didn’t know what exactly he was anticipating. Of course he was thinking with his dick again. It was like crossing the threshold into university had increased his horniness. Maybe it was just because coming from a small town, he hadn’t been presented with many options. Moving into Seoul was like being scooped out of a fish tank and being set loose in the sea. Alright, Seoul wasn’t exacted a thriving hub of gay activity, but there were surely more than two gay people in the city.

Again, he found himself fixated on the hand intertwined with Chan’s. It was an effort to remind himself that back in Busan, Chan had dated girls. He was probably straight.

_ But then _ , a voice nudged itself into his mind,  _ why’s he holding your hand? _

“Whenever I sleep over I use this bedroom.”

“Oh?” Jeongin glanced at the bed, imagining a shirtless Chan with the covers thrown around him. Yeah, he really needed to stop this line of thinking. Chan was Felix’s brother. Felix would be disgusted.

_ Then why are you holding his hand and letting him lead you into an empty room? _ That voice made a snide comment again.

Jeongin scowled, trying to keep a flush from entering his cheeks. He followed Chan onto the balcony. Below was the garden, empty because the back of the house was out of bounds. And straight ahead was a magnificent view of the city. Colorful, bright lights shone through the smog casting an iridescent glow across the sky. “It’s beautiful.”

“Right?” Chan smiled proudly as if he’d created the view himself. “I love coming up here just to catch a glimpse of this view. Changbin calls me a romantic.”

Jeongin chuckled, “Well, this is really… romantic.” He couldn’t fight his blush now, and he ducked his head so that Chan wouldn’t see the grin that stretched across his face. This was probably the most romantic thing he’d ever done and he wasn’t even dating Chan.

Back home, Jeongin had casual hook-ups but dating had been out of the question when his hook-ups demanded complete secrecy. So he never got the opportunity to hold someone’s hand and admire the view. 

When he turned to look at Chan, he was taken aback to see the older man already staring at him. “You’re cute.”

Jeongin clamped his teeth down on his lower lip and shook his head. He gave Chan a challenging look. “Is that all you got? I prefer handsome, sexy, hot…” What the fuck was he doing? 

“Ah well,” Chan’s hand gently squeezed his where they rested on the balustrade, “you’re definitely handsome, sexy and hot too,” he smirked. Jeongin fumbled for a response, but could only gawk when Chan added, “More than your photos on Instagram.”

“W-what?”

Chan had been looking at his photos? But as far as he was aware, Chan didn’t even have any social media accounts! Felix would’ve said so. 

“I use Minho’s account every now and then,” Chan said, as if reading his mind. “It’s my own way of keeping an eye on Felix.” Really? Jeongin really hadn’t pegged him as the protective older brother type. Hell, Jeongin doubted the Bang siblings could take time away from their petty rivalries to actually have a conversation with each other. “I’ve seen you in his photos. And…” Chan hesitated, “I may have checked out your profile too at some point.”

“Why?” Jeongin raised an eyebrow, more amused than anything else. “Keeping an eye on me too?”

“Yes, but for an entirely different reason.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jeongin tried to keep the excitement out of his voice. “What reason would that be?”

“Oh, you know…” Chan said casually. “An average guy sees a really hot guy’s profile, Average guy wants to chat to hot guy but he can’t because hot guy is his younger brother’s best friend and it would be too inappropriate.”

Jeongin didn’t know what surprised him more – that Chan thought of himself as average, that he really thought of Jeongin as hot, or that he’d been wanting to chat to him. He slowly blew air out through his parted lips, trying to calm his racing heart.

He locked eyes with Chan, “Inappropriate. And yet here we are.”

Chan held his gaze, “And yet here we are.” His lips curved into a smile, head slightly cocked to the side, “I was the one who asked if I could give you a tour.” Oh? “I don’t know what I was thinking…”

Jeongin took a small step towards him, “Well, what are you thinking now?”

Chan’s eyes flicked to Jeongin’s lips and back up again. Oh, Jeongin knew exactly what he was thinking. “About kissing you.”

His blatant honesty brought a smile to Jeongin’s face. “Then what are you waiting for?”

Chan hesitated only for a split second before he closed the distance between them. He tilted his lips up to Jeongin’s, a whisper of a touch, “You sure you want this?”

Jeongin unlinked their hands. He wrapped his arms around Chan’s waist, “I’m sure.” He was also sure that they shouldn’t be doing this.

The corner of Chan’s lips lifted into a smug smile, “So you want me to kiss you? Here? Right now?”

Oh now he was just teasing. On another day, Jeongin might have had the patience, but tonight he just wanted to give in. He took the initiative to press his lips against Chan’s soft, pillowy, peach flavoured lips. The kiss remained chaste only for a few seconds before Jeongin swiped his tongue over Chan’s lower lip, feeling the indentations where the older man’s teeth had sunk in two minutes ago.

Chan cupped Jeongin’s jaw with a hand, the other hand raking through his hair. He parted his lips for Jeongin, and their tongues met, caressing in long, languid strokes. Jeongin’s heart thrummed, an undercurrent churning through his blood. Chan grazed his teeth over Jeongin’s lower lip, an action that tore a moan from Jeongin’s lips. 

Chan smiled, pulling back but leaving his arms wound around Jeongin’s neck. “Were you drinking beer?”

Jeongin rolled his eyes and scrunched his nose. “A few sips. It tasted like shit. I just felt sorry for the keg—” he stopped himself after realizing he was being a bumbling idiot.

Chan’s brows inched upward and he laughed. And then his expression morphed into something more serious, “I feel like we shouldn’t be doing this.” 

His admission made Jeongin feel uneasy. “I think we both know we shouldn’t be doing this.” He started to pull away, but Chan kept him in place, arms locking around him.

“But I want to do this. And I think you do too, Jeongin.”

“This,” Jeongin sighed, eyes shifting to the sky and then back to the lights reflected in Chan’s eyes. “What exactly is this? What are we doing? What do you…” he hesitated, swallowing hard. “What is it that you want to do?”

“What do  _ I _ want to do?” Chan cocked a brow. “I’d love to be blunt, to tell you exactly what I want to do. With you. To you.” His hands travelled lower, stopping on Jeongin’s hips. “But I don’t want to scare you away.”

Jeongin’s lips curved into a sly smile. “You think sex would scare me away? I’m not a virgin, Chan.” The older man’s eyes widened slightly. Jeongin made a decision to not go into detail about his past sexual experiences. Mostly because he’d only had sex two times, and neither of those experiences had felt very fulfilling. Still, he knew what he was doing. Porn helped too.

Chan still seemed reluctant, despite his obvious erection, so Jeongin took things into his own hands. He guided Chan towards a velvet chaise that had been pushed into the corner of the balcony. He began to undo the buttons on Chan’s slacks, pulling the zipper down. His lowered gaze caught sight of a jarring disparity – his sneakers pressed against Chan’s polished dress shoes. They were so different, but Jeongin didn’t mind.

“You don’t have to do this.”

Jeongin shut him up with another kiss, this one more urgent that their previous one. His fingers found Chan’s waistband, pulling his slacks and underwear down to his thighs in one fluid motion. Chan’s cock sprung up against the fabric of his shirt. Jeongin’s greedy gaze took in the throbbing length, already anticipating how his lips would stretch over the girth. 

He traced a single finger over the underside of Chan’s cock, watching a shudder quake through his body. Chan hissed and braced a hand against the wall, his feet shifting restlessly. Precum began pooling at the flushed head. Jeongin tapped a finger against the head, watching as a single bead of precum began to dribble down the shaft. He shifted his gaze to Chan’s face, watching as the man gnawed at his lower lip.

Fuck.

“I don’t have any condoms on me,” Chan said, eyebrows raised. 

Jeongin snorted. “Are you clean?”

“I haven’t been with anyone in months,” Chan admitted with a sheepish grin. That was… surprising. A guy like Chan? Single and sex-starved? “You’ll really take my word for it?”

“I want to,” Jeongin shrugged. It was a bad idea, but desperate times… “Sit.” He nudged Chan backward, and the older man took the hint, taking a seat on the chaise, his legs spread invitingly. 

Jeongin lowered himself to his knees, wary of the hard stone floor digging through his jeans, but still determined. The first and only time Jeongin had given a blowjob – around seven months ago if he recalled correctly – he’d been unable to focus on anything except the foreign taste in his mouth, on how to fit everything inside, on the smell of ejaculate, on keeping his teeth out of the way. He’d had no goal except to just get it over with.

It was different tonight. He had something to prove. And he had a gorgeous man staring down at him with half-lidded eyes, waiting for him to make him feel good – that was the ultimate goal here. And Jeongin would be damned if he failed at it.

Jeongin couldn’t help but recall how when they were younger, he and Felix had those silly moments where they would compare how their dicks looked, and for some reason, one of Felix’s comments seemed to jump at him now.  _ ‘I think Chan’s might be bigger.’ _

Yep, it was a lot bigger. 

He felt more nervous now that thoughts of Felix had entered the forefront of his mind. Felix who hadn’t even responded to one text yet. Felix who was probably enjoying himself without giving a second thought about whose dick Jeongin was sucking.

He stared at the angry-red head of Chan’s cock. Fuck it. He wanted this.

A moan slipped from Chan’s mouth before Jeongin could even close his lips around the tip. This time it was easier for Jeongin to ignore the taste of salt and sweat. He hummed around the tip before sliding his lips down his shaft.

“Ah, yes,” Chan hissed.

It only made Jeongin try harder. He licked and sucked, working him over in a way that he hoped would drive Chan crazy. Jeongin knew he lacked finesse but he would give it his all. He also knew he’d failed horribly at deep-throating the first time, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try again. 

He gagged himself on Chan’s cock over and over, the man’s moans growing louder. When tears began pricking his eyes, he slipped his mouth off and ducked down to suck on his balls. Jeongin was a hot mess, tears running down his cheeks, saliva and precum coating his lips and chin, and he’d never been so turned on by pleasuring someone else. 

Every little sound he pulled from Chan’s lips, worked him up a little further. Who knew giving a blowjob could feel so fulfilling?

Jeongin’s hands began to knead bruises into Chan’s thighs as he moved back to his dick, sucking him down again. Fingers threaded through his hair as he began to bob up and down, dragging his tongue over every bump and ridge. 

It was a sensory overload, and when he glanced up at Chan, finding him staring down at him with a mixture of awe and lust, Jeongin couldn’t look away. He upped the speed, tightened his lips and began to suck so hard his cheeks hollowed out.

Maybe that’s what tipped Chan over the edge. “Fuck, Jeongin. I’m – I – I’m  _ coming _ .”

Jeongin knew it was a warning, and he made the split second decision to remain as he was. When the first salty spurt of cum hit his tongue, Jeongin had a brief moment of regret, but… It wasn’t bad at all? Just salty. He kept sucking, choking slightly but swallowing down until his cock stopped twitching in his mouth. Jeongin pulled off and was still left with a little less than a mouthful of cum to swallow. His eyes grew wide as he looked for a place to deposit the cum.

Chan let out a breathy laugh and lifted his palm so that it sat just below Jeongin’s lips. Jeongin deposited the cum into Chan’s palm, and let the man draw him up onto the chaise. Chan brushed his thumb along Jeongin’s jaw, something profoundly intimate about the gesture – more intimate than when Jeongin had Chan’s dick in his mouth.

Chan brushed their lips together. It was a soft kiss, soothing, comforting. It made his eyes flutter shut and he found himself sliding down until his head fell back against a cushion. He gasped when he felt Chan’s hand dip beneath his waistband, fingers claiming his cock. Chan began to palm the throbbing erection that Jeongin had neglected, fingers wrapping around his shaft, gently tugging. He began bucking into Chan’s hand, chasing friction, soft moans leaving his lips. It didn’t take long for him to reach his climax, and he arched his back as he came into Chan’s hand.

“Well, that wasn’t bad at all,” Chan whispered against his lips.

Jeongin laughed and shifted so that he was lying more comfortably with his legs over Chan’s lap. “Really? I think there was one part I didn’t like.”

“Oh?” Chan cocked a brow. “Which part was that?”

Jeongin smiled, “The part where we finished.”

Chan laughed, that boyish laugh had made his heart flutter over the phone. “If I wasn’t so spent I’d suggest round two. But another time, definitely.”

He felt an electrifying thrill, knowing that Chan wanted to do this again. That he wanted to see Jeongin again. But still, Jeongin would err on the side of caution. Sex was one thing, but…

“So, this…” he looked away, feeling embarrassed at having to broach the topic first. “When you said another time, did you mean just for sex or…?” This wasn’t high school anymore, and Jeongin wasn’t in his small, stuffy hometown. He didn’t have to sneak around anymore – he could actually go on dates now. There was the possibility of finding a  _ real relationship _ , and not some rushed dick appointment behind a building or in someone’s car.

Chan’s mouth opened slightly, eyes wide as if he hadn’t actually given it much thought. “Well, uh…” Shit. Should Jeongin not have brought it up? He was so stupid. So fucking stupid. “Jeongin, I think—” but he was cut off by the buzzing of his phone. He sighed when he saw the caller ID but answered anyway, “Changbin? Yeah? I’ll be down in a minute.”

He gave Jeongin an apologetic smile. “Let’s get cleaned up and then we’ll head down to the dining room.”

“The dining room?” Jeongin forced a chuckle, despite the embarrassment burning beneath his skin. “Are we going to have dinner or something?”

Chan gave him a wry smile, “Oh yeah. A large serving of Changbin’s family drama.”

“It’s this way,” Chan led Jeongin back downstairs, turning into a hallway and pushing through a door. 

Jeongin stood dumbstruck, taking in the scene unfolding before his eyes. Hyunjin was trying to placate Changbin, hands raised defensively, and not because he was trying to defend  _ himself _ . Jisung stood behind Hyunjin, nursing a bruised jaw. What the hell? Did Changbin  _ punch _ him?

“Changbin, just listen to me,” Hyunjin pleaded. “He wasn’t doing anything wrong!”

“Wasn’t doing anything wrong?” Changbin barked out a laugh. “You brought a fucking drug dealer into our house!”

A  _ what _ ? Jeongin’s jaw dropped. Jisung… No way. Fair enough, they’d only met that morning but… A drug dealer? Nah.

“If I didn’t walk in on you both—”

“We weren’t doing drugs!” Hyunjin yelled, anger building in his voice. “We were – we were just…” A flush crept up his neck. “You know.”

“Yeah, and I don’t know what’s worse.” Changbin pushed past Hyunjin and in a swift movement, gripped Jisung by his collar. “I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from my brother,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Alright,” Chan interrupted, prying Changbin’s hands away from Jisung, and raising an eyebrow at the deathly glare the man shot his way. “Let’s all come to an agreement.” He glanced at Hyunjin and then gave Jisung a derisive look. “Hyunjin, just agree to stay away from the drug dealer—”

“Wait,” Jeongin furrowed his brow, astounded at how fast they all were to condemn Jisung. “You don’t even know that Jisung has anything to do with drugs.”

“Jeongin,” Jisung said, his voice low, cheeks flushed. “Just leave it alone. They’re not wrong.”

Oh. Well, now Jeongin felt like an idiot.

“You,” Changbin narrowed his eyes at Jeongin. “You’re his friend, aren’t you? You came to the party with him. You selling with him?”

“What?” Jeongin blanched, all color fading from his face. “I’ve never touched drugs! I swear I didn’t know. I only met him this morning!” It really felt like he was throwing Jisung under the bus, but maybe Jisung should’ve been more honest with him too. It’s not like Jeongin had an issue with people who did drugs. He had an issue with people who took him to parties with ulterior motives.

Changbin turned his glare toward Hyunjin. “I was wondering why you invited first years. Makes sense that they’re both trouble. I want them out of this house.”

Wow. Jeongin’s first college party and he was being kicked out.

“Changbin, just—”

Changbin pointed a threatening finger at his brother. “Say another word and mom and dad will hear about this.”

Hyunjin looked as if he was about to either burst into tears or start yelling. To Jeongin’s surprise, he flopped down into a chair, his eyes downcast.

“I can vouch for Jeongin,” Chan spoke up quickly. Relief sliced through Jeongin’s fear. 

“Can you?” Someone – oh, Minho – spoke up from where he lounged in a chair. Jeongin hadn’t even noticed him there.

“He was upstairs with me the entire time,” Chan grimaced. “No drugs.”

“What were you both doing upstairs?” Minho’s tone was accusatory. He tilted his head. “Were you both fucking?” he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Don’t be an ass,” Chan snapped. “It’s  _ nothing _ like that. We weren’t doing anything.”

Jeongin frowned at the blatant lie. What they did upstairs was not  _ nothing _ . He tried to catch Chan’s eye but the older man refused to meet his gaze. Oh, so it was like that now? It was fine that whatever happened upstairs had been just two horny people getting off, but to deny that even that had happened? He shouldn’t be feeling hurt by this, really. After all, Chan had probably just been desperate.

“Come on, Jisung,” Jeongin gestured to the door. “Let’s get back to the dorm.”

“I’ll take you back,” Chan looked at Jeongin now, something like panic flashing in his eyes. “Let me take you back to the dorm.” He gave Jisung a disapproving glance. “Just you. And then we can talk about getting you assigned to another dorm.”

What now? Jeongin gawked at him. He really appreciated the concern – and fine, Jisung did have a lot of explaining to do – but Jeongin did not appreciate being told how to handle the situation. As if he couldn’t think for himself.

“No thanks,” he pursed his lips, feeling a pang of sympathy for Jisung whose eyes had grown as wide as saucers. “Jisung and I took a cab here. We’ll leave the same way.”

He could feel Chan staring after him, but he refused to look back. 

“I’m sorry,” Jisung said, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. “Kind of ruined your first college party, didn’t I?”

Jeongin grimaced. Slammed down from the high that he’d felt when he’d been alone with Chan, he could finally ask himself what the fuck he’d been thinking giving someone a blowjob at his first college party. How long would it take for Chan to circulate a rumor that Jeongin was an easy fuck? Because that was what it seemed like now.

“Nah,” he swallowed thickly. “I ruined it all on my own.”


	2. About Last Night

Jeongin woke with slight headache. He definitely wasn’t hung-over from a few sips of beer. But he could attribute the ache to the chaos at last night’s party. He swung his legs over the side of his bed and groaned. At least he’d woken a solid fifteen minutes before his alarm could go off.

He blinked in surprise when he saw Jisung already dressed and propped up on his bed. “Didn’t know you were an early riser.”

“I like going for a run in the mornings,” Jisung shrugged, a nervous smile playing on his lips. He was probably still blaming himself for last night. The bruise on his jaw had faded to purple overnight. “It clears my head. And I like the routine.”

Jeongin cocked his head to the side, “I should probably start going with you. Back home I used to hit the gym every afternoon but I’m not sure whether I’ll be up for that when I finish classes late.”

Jisung seemed taken aback, but he nodded enthusiastically. “The company will be great.”

They shared an awkward smile, and Jeongin hated the tension that hung in the air. “I’m not judging you, you know,” he felt it apt to say. “About the uh…” he lowered his voice. “About the drugs.”

Jisung’s cringe was visible, “I guess I owe you an explanation.”

“Nah, you don’t have to explain anything,” Jeongin reassured him. As long as Jisung kept him out of it, he was fine.

But it seemed as if Jisung wanted to talk about it, so Jeongin let him. “My family is back in Malaysia,” he told Jeongin, a trace of sombreness in his words. It made sense now why Jisung hadn’t had anyone with him when he moved into the dorm. “I was sixteen when I got a scholarship to study at Gyongju Academy.”

Jeongin’s eyes widened. “That’s impressive.” Gyeongju Academy was one of the most elite high schools in the country, and the most expensive. 

Jisung nodded, “I met Hyunjin there.”

Oh. Oh, well that made sense, didn’t it? “So you both dated back then?”

“Yeah,” Jisung’s lips curved into a smile. “I started dealing around that time too. My family isn’t wealthy and while my scholarship covered tuition, it didn’t cover anything else, so... I guess I needed the money. And Hyunjin… He’s a bit spoilt, you get me? His lifestyle is different from mine and I wanted to show him that I could give him whatever he wanted. He didn’t  _ ask _ for anything,” Jisung added when Jeongin gave him a skeptical look. “It was just my own feelings of inadequacy. I felt like I needed to prove myself financially.”

Jeongin sighed. He could understand why Jisung would feel that way. He knew very well what it was like to feel inadequate. But he really didn’t want to think about Felix that early in the morning. It would make for an ominous start to the day.

“I’m guessing Hyunjin’s brother didn’t approve?”

Jisung snorted, “That’s an understatement.”

“What happened?”

“We were in our senior year and it was Hyunjin’s birthday so he invited a few of us over to his place. I was in Hyunjin’s bedroom. He was taking a look at my stock – just taking a look, that’s all. He knew what I did for money and he was curious. Changbin walked in on us and…” he swallowed hard. “Well, Hyunjin told him that we were dating. He told Changbin how he felt about me. And—” he laughed blandly, “I ended up with a couple of cracked ribs.”

Jeongin gaped at him. He figured that Changbin would have been pissed off, but to that extent? “Fuck.” It was the only reasonable reaction.

“I made a deal with Hyunjin’s family. I wouldn’t press charges against Changbin and I’d go back to Malaysia. And they’d keep quiet about the drugs.”

Jeongin slumped back into his pillows, “Jisung, that’s some Romeo and Juliet type of shit. You know that, right?”

Both students burst into laughter, until Jisung grew serious again. “Romeo and Juliet were idiots. Han Jisung is  _ not _ an idiot.” Jeongin arched a brow at that. “I finished my senior year in Malaysia, took a year off to work and save up some money, and then applied here because I knew Hyunjin would be here. I wasn’t going to give up on him.”

But Jeongin had to be the voice of reason, “I don’t think Changbin is going to make this easy for either of you. I mean he pretty much shut Hyunjin down last night.”

Jisung wrung his hands, a frown etched onto his face, “We’re adults. One way or the other, we’ll figure it out. There’s only so much they can do to us.”

Jeongin and Jisung only shared two classes together, which left Jeongin pitifully alone for the majority of the day. He had to admit that it was infinitely harder making friends without Felix at his side. In a way, Felix had been his social crutch and without Felix, he stumbled awkwardly in conversations with the other students. So for the most part, Jeongin kept to himself, taking notes diligently and moving rather robotically from class to class. 

It was a little after 1pm when Jeongin agreed to meet Jisung for lunch. The cafeteria seemed busier than that morning when they’d dropped in for breakfast. Maybe most students skipped in favour of sleep or just had breakfast in their dorm rooms. 

He went back and forth between a ham and cheese sandwich and a cheese burger before finally deciding on the sandwich. When he spotted Jisung, he was unsurprised to see Hyunjin sitting beside him, practically melded into his side. 

Both offered him bright, apologetic smiles as he sat down. And it was Hyunjin who spoke first, “Listen, Jeongin, about last night, I’m so sorry—”

“It’s fine,” Jeongin waved away his apology. “Jisung told me about your… situation.” He raised a brow at his roommate, “And it’s really alright, Jisung. I told you that.”

He watched as Jisung and Hyunjin exchanged a worried glance, and sighed, waiting for one of them to elaborate on their concerns. Because they obviously had a few.

“You’re a friend of Chan’s,” Hyunjin blurted.

Ah. And Chan and Changbin were friends. He could see how that would put them on edge.

“I’m not going to say anything,” Jeongin reassured them with a smile. “Chan…” He scoffed, “Chan isn’t even a friend.”

“You sure about that?” Jisung frowned. “I mean…”

“I’m sure,” Jeongin snapped, taking an angry bite of his sandwich.

Jisung gave him a skeptical look, “Then why’d you invite him to lunch with us?”

Jeongin paused mid-chew, and unable to talk, he just drew his brows together in question. What the hell was Jisung talking about?

“Jeongin?”

Oh. Oh shit. Mouth still full, Jeongin turned around to see Chan staring down at him with a small smile. 

“Can I join you?”

Hyunjin and Jisung both looked pale. There was now a visible gap between them on the bench and Hyunjin looked as if he wanted to bolt. Jeongin was ridden with guilt after he’d just promised them that he wasn’t going to let Chan in on anything. 

“I was just leaving,” Jeongin announced, getting to his feet. “You can walk me out.” He nodded towards the automatic sliding doors, “Just give me a minute?”

Chan’s gaze swept over an increasingly pale Hyunjin and Jisung, and he nodded. With his hands jammed into the pockets of his hoodie – Jeongin was surprised at how different he looked when he dressed casually – he pivoted and started towards the doors.

“I honestly didn’t know he’d show up here,” Jeongin explained as he swung his bag over his shoulder. And although the couple nodded in understanding, Jeongin felt that he had to reassure them again, “I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him not to mention this to Changbin.” He just wondered whether Chan would be amicable.

Jeongin caught up with Chan just as the doors slid open, letting them out beneath the glare of the midday sun. They came to an awkward stop, and Jeongin tried to make himself small as people streamed past them, entering and leaving the cafeteria in a rush. He narrowly avoided having someone’s coffee spilled on him, and he breathed a sigh of relief when the danger passed. 

When he turned to look at Chan, the man was already staring at him with a mixture of trepidation and regret. “About last night,” Chan began, “I’m really sorry. There’s no other explanation except… I panicked.” Jeongin’s brows inched upward at the admission. “I panicked,” Chan repeated with an apologetic shrug. “I was just afraid of what my friends would think. I mean, you’re so…” he trailed off and looked away.

“Young?” Jeongin suggested. When color bloomed across Chan’s cheeks, he added, “You didn’t mind so much when I had your dick in my mouth.”

Chan’s eyes widened slightly, his face flushed, “Your age isn’t an issue. You’re only… What? Six or seven years younger than me. That’s not – it’s not…” he pressed his lips into a thin line, and it couldn’t be more obvious that he was only trying (and failing) to convince  _ himself _ .

“It’s not a big deal to  _ me _ , just so you know,” Jeongin told him. “Your age, I mean. But it’s obviously something to you so…” he started to turn away and then remembered Jisung. “Before I go, I have a favour to ask from you.” He didn’t wait for the go-ahead before continuing, “Please don’t tell Changbin that you saw Hyunjin and Jisung together today.”

Chan nodded, “I won’t say anything.” Jeongin nodded and turned on his heel. “On one condition.” He whipped around again, narrowing his eyes at Chan. “Let me take you out later.”

Jeongin stared, taken aback by his condition. He shook his head in confusion, “I thought we just established that you’re not interested—”

“I didn’t say that,” Chan took a step forward and despite the urge to flee, Jeongin remained rooted in place. The man sighed and his gaze drifted up towards the sky before falling back to Jeongin’s face. “You’ve got to understand how weird it is for me. I mean I…” he huffed out a laugh. “I used to babysit for your parents.” Jeongin cringed at the vague memory of his ten year old self screeching while Chan tried to enforce his bedtime. Alright, he could understand where Chan was coming from. “But I am interested,” Chan insisted. “So let me take you out.”

“So you both  _ are _ dating.”

Jeongin frowned and turned away from the mirror propped against the wall. He fixed Jisung with an exasperated look, “I already told you – we  _ aren’t _ dating.”

“But you’re going on a date with him,” Hyunjin lifted his head off Jisung’s lap, his legs hanging over the edge of the bed. “So what does that mean?”

“I’m just testing the waters,” Jeongin folded his arms across his chest. “It’s nothing serious.”

“Yet,” Jisung raised a brow.

“Yet,” Jeongin agreed.

“He’s not bad,” Hyunjin muttered, picking at the rips running across Jisung’s jeans. The diamond bracelet around his wrist shimmered with the movement. “But…” he glanced at his boyfriend. “But he’s also one of Changbin’s best friends.”

The couple stared at Jeongin, willing him to read their fear. And he did. He knew they were afraid, and from what Jisung had confided in Jeongin that morning, they had every right to be afraid. But it was also very frustrating.

Jeongin had only just met them a day ago, and already, he was the one having to make an effort at keeping  _ their _ relationship under wraps. When did it become his responsibility?

With an inward sigh he turned his attention back to the mirror, studying his casual outfit in earnest. He didn’t know what Chan had planned for their date. Their first date –  _ Jeongin’s _ first date. But he did mention that Jeongin could just dress simply, comfortably. But were his plain blue jeans and grey hoodie too simple? Maybe he should have made more of an effort. He caught Jisung’s eye in the mirror and whirled around to find the couple still staring intently at him, their concern visible.

“Oh, come on,” he groaned. “It’s not like I’m with you guys 24/7. And it’s not like Chan is going to be around me that much either. I know you’re worried because he saw you at the cafeteria but that’s just a coincidence and he isn’t going to tell on you. And anyway,” he added, “how long do you plan on keeping this thing a secret?”

Hyunjin sat up and shrugged, “Until I can stand on my own two feet without relying on my parents for financial support.” Ah, so it was about the money. Jeongin didn’t miss the worry that flashed in Jisung’s eyes. “Just a few more years. I need to graduate and find a stable job,” Hyunjin smiled at Jisung. “We both need to.”

A few more years… How the hell would anyone hide a relationship that long? Changbin was bound to find out. And bones were bound to get broken again. But Jeongin couldn’t think of any better suggestions to offer them, so he didn’t offer any.

“You look so stressed out,” Chan said as soon as Jeongin jumped into the car. “College already kicking your ass?”

Not wanting to admit that the source of his stress was his roommate’s Romeo-and-Juliet-esque love story, Jeongin just laughed it off. Until he saw Chan’s outfit. His smile faded at the sight of the black suit and polished shoes. “Should I go back in and change?”

Chan snorted out a laugh, “So then we both could be over-dressed? Nah. I finished work late and I could’ve gone home to change but I promised I’d be here at seven and…” he trailed off with an apologetic shrug that brought a smile to Jeongin’s face.

“I mean,” Jeongin leaned back in his seat and gave Chan an appraising look, eyebrow teasingly arched, “it’s cool. You could pass for my bodyguard.”

Chan grinned and shook his head. Wordlessly, he removed his ties and shrugged off his suit jacket, tossing both onto the backseat, “Better?”

The white shirt hugged his muscular body like a teasing preview of what waited beneath. Jeongin tried not to slobber like a hungry dog. He swallowed hard and averted his eyes. “Better,” he agreed.

With a satisfied smile, Chan turned the key in the ignition. But his hand fell away and he gave Jeongin a worried look.

“What?” Jeongin cocked his head to the side. If Chan changed his mind… 

“So uh…” Chan scratched the back of his head. “I didn’t actually plan anything for tonight.” Jeongin stared in surprise. He’d marked Chan as the organized plan-everything type. “I’m really rusty with the whole date thing,” the man admitted with a shy smile. “It’s been a while since… And I don’t know what you’re into and I didn’t want to plan anything and make assumptions and—”

“Chill,” Jeongin interrupted, a laugh escaping from his lips. “Let’s look at it this way. You’re rusty and I’m inexperienced. I guess that puts us pretty much on the even ground. So that’s good, right?” Jeongin had never been much of an optimist but he found himself drawing on optimism to reassure Chan.

Chan’s smile widened into a grin, his eyes bright and crinkling at the corners, “Yeah, that’s great, actually.”

For a long moment, he held Chan’s stare, a cloud of growing tension expanding between them. Tension fraught with nerves and anticipation, and a clawing urge to close the distance between their bodies. The craving to touch Chan again, to taste him, burnt through Jeongin like gasoline set alight. But he was determined not to make this about sex. This was a date.

They were going to have fun getting to know each other, no sex necessary. Jeongin wanted to do this right. No more mistakes, so he wouldn’t have any regrets in the future.

So he looked away first and cleared his throat, “I’m hungry. What in Seoul would you recommend to a visitor born and bred in Busan?” 

Chan hummed, fingers drumming along the steering wheel, “How about hotteok?” 

Jeongin made a surprised noise, “Hotteok?” It wasn’t what he was expecting but pancakes were always a good option.

It was a fifteen minute drive to Gwangjang Market. Jeongin stepped out of the car, immediately feeling warmed up by the ambience of the market. Every food stall was crowded with patrons, some just there to watch the street food being prepared – an art all on its own – while others eagerly waited in line to get a taste. The street was lined with strings of light bulbs, casting a warm yellow glow on the flushed faces of passersby.

“This way,” Chan said, when Jeongin finished his slow turn on the spot, taking in their surroundings.

Jeongin looked at him questioningly, but didn’t object at all when Chan’s hand slipped into his own and the man began to lead him into the crowd. Between the sensation of Chan’s palm pressed flush against his own, and the mixture of delicious aromas that filled the air, Jeongin didn’t even care where they were headed. 

They joined a line that extended out into the main cobblestone path and Jeongin craned his neck to get a look at the woman who ran the stall. With one hand, she worked the dough expertly, and with the other she ran a slab of butter over a pan. Jeongin began to salivate at the sight. 

Jeongin inhaled when Chan’s breath tickled his ear. “It’s even better than it looks,” he reassured Jeongin, leaning in close so that he could be heard over the loud buzz of conversation around them. “And it’s my treat, okay?”

Jeongin turned his head so that their lips hovered a hair’s width away from each other. One kiss wouldn’t hurt, right? It’s not like he was getting into Chan’s pants again. But before he could close the gap between them, Chan lifted their intertwined hands and placed a chaste kiss on Jeongin’s hand. 

And Jeongin would settle for that. It was a simple brush of lips over his knuckles, but it warmed him up from head to toe, and encouraged his stomach to do a few over-excited somersaults. With a smile on his face, Jeongin gave Chan’s hand a light squeeze. He decided that he didn’t want to let go any time soon, even with the thin layer of sweat forming between their palms.

“So,” Chan grinned when they were seated, “what’s the verdict from mister-born-and-bred-in-Busan?”

Jeongin shook his head, afraid that what he’d stuffed into his mouth would fall out if he spoke. He held up two thumbs. It was definitely nothing like he’d had back home. The pastry was soft and chewy, and he’d been surprised when he realized the usual sweet honey, cinnamon and peanut filling had been replaced with cheese and chicken. 

“Best thing I’ve eaten in a while,” Jeongin admitted, warmth tucked into his stomach at the delightful meal. “Best thing I’ve ever eaten. Case closed.”

Chan giggled, and apparently he was taken by Jeongin’s use of legal terminology because he asked with complete seriousness, “Thinking of a career in law?”

Jeongin inwardly groaned. The last thing he wanted was to discuss his future career. He didn’t have anything figured out yet and he didn’t want that reminder. He scrunched his nose, “Change the topic.”

Chan looked at him apologetically, and before a cloud of silence could descend, Chan pointed out, “Your hair color’s changing. Spend too much time in the shower today?”

This time Jeongin groaned out loud. His blue hair was now a strange mixture of green and yellow. “I never wanted to dye it blue in the first place,” he frowned. “And if I knew it’d fade this fast, I would’ve point-blank refused.”

Chan’s brows arched upward, “So whose idea was it?”

Ah. Maybe they should’ve rather discussed careers. He hesitated before answering, “Felix.”

Chan gave him a wry smile and shook his head before averting his eyes. “Felix,” he muttered. “Of course.”

What was that supposed to mean? Jeongin wondered. He had to remind himself that their brotherly feud was none of his business. There was something more pressing on his mind anyway. And now that Chan had brought Felix into the conversation, how was Jeongin supposed to resist asking him.

“Have you uh…” he hesitated. He didn’t want to talk about Felix, but he needed to know. Chan raised a brow in question. “You’ve spoken to Lix recently? Since he moved to Cambridge, I mean.”

“Ah,” Chan hummed, twisting and untwisting the cap on his bottle of water. “We don’t exactly…” he shrugged his shoulders, eyes drifting up to the hazy sky. “You know, we don’t really talk much. So no, I haven’t.”

Jeongin’s heart sank. Ten days and not a single word from Felix. No text. Nothing. He knew their last conversation had been tense. But Felix  _ promised _ that he’d call. 

“I guess you haven’t either?”

Jeongin shifted his gaze up from the table, “I want mandu.” Because dumplings were a great distraction from Felix-related thoughts.

“Ready for the best mandu you’ve ever tasted?”

It was the best mandu he’d ever tasted. He’d even finished the vegetable broth. 

He leaned back in his seat, the sound of the car engine almost lulling him to sleep. He felt happy. He felt content. Mostly because of the man sitting beside him. He glanced at Chan, at the way his lips pressed into a thin line as he turned into an intersection, at the tap, tap, tap of his fingers on the wheel. Not for the first time, he wished he could read minds.

Jeongin had been adamant that he didn’t want this to just be about sex. But he was still unsure of Chan’s motivations. Miscommunication was a thing. Sometimes he’d hear it from friends or read about it on long whiny Facebook posts. Dates gone wrong, where one person was all about the ‘relationship’ aspect, but the other was only about the ‘fucking’ aspect. And Jeongin didn’t know how to outright ask Chan which way he was leaning.

He didn’t want to work on assumptions, but he could almost hope that Chan was on the same page as him. After all, Chan hadn’t so much as hinted that he wanted a repeat of what Jeongin had done for him at the party. Aside from hand-holding and a few pecks on Jeongin’s hand, Chan hadn’t attempted anything more than that. Jeongin had to admit that a small part of himself – namely the part in his pants – was slightly disappointed by that. 

But for the most part, Jeongin was happy. Aside from the brief mention of Felix, it had been the perfect evening. The perfect first date. He hadn’t done anything embarrassing like drop his chopsticks or spill something – a miracle, really – and Chan had been all smiles too, which meant that Jeongin had been doing something right. 

He felt as if he’d conquered those dreadful first date jitters that everyone talked about. Granted, he was a few years later than the rest of his friends, but at least he’d finally experienced it, and lived to tell the tale. Maybe he’d be more excited than nervous for their next date. If there was a next date. Again, he really didn’t want to assume.

Chan pulled into an empty parking space outside the dorm building. Most of the windows were still lit up, and although Jeongin’s window wasn’t visible from the front of the building he imagined that his would be lit up too. He wondered whether Hyunjin and Jisung had stayed in. Whether Hyunjin was still there. 

And that brought an entirely new wave of dread. He really hoped that if they’d been busy while he was gone, they’d have properly cleaned up after themselves. In the short time he’d known Jisung, he’d gathered that the guy didn’t mind his mess enough to clean it up. Hopefully Hyunjin had more sense. 

“So, we pull up to your dorm and you have that stressed out look on your face again,” Chan’s lips curved into an amused smile but the way his brows drew together told Jeongin that he was genuinely concerned.

Again, Jeongin opted not to bring up Jisung. He really didn’t want an ‘I told you so’ from Chan. And anyway, it wasn’t that big of a deal. He didn’t want to change roommates or anything. Honestly, Jisung was great.

“Everything is just so new,” Jeongin admitted that one truth. “So many changes from what I’m used to, you know?” 

Chan nodded, “I know what that’s like.”

“It’s all good though,” Jeongin reassured him with a smile.

Chan returned his smile, shifting slightly in his seat so that his body was turned towards Jeongin, “Can we talk about something real quick?”

Jeongin tensed, fingers curling into the console between their seats. Was this it? Was Chan going to make some kind of sexual proposition? Or was he going to tell Jeongin that this wasn’t going to work out?

A flush began to creep up Chan’s neck and a nervous giggle left his lips before he turned serious again, “About last night… again.” Oh. Jeongin clenched his jaw in nervous anticipation. “As much as I enjoyed it, I do regret rushing into things.”

Oh! Jeongin released a soft sigh and even huffed out a laugh, “So I’m not the only one who has regrets,” Chan’s look of surprise turned into one of concern and Jeongin quickly clarified, “I don’t regret what happened between us, but like you said, I do regret rushing into it.”

Chan placed a hand over Jeongin’s on the console, “So we take things slow from here?”

And Jeongin was totally down for that. He nodded enthusiastically, glad that he wasn’t the one who had to broach the topic. But… “Uh…” he awkwardly scratched the side of his head, “how slow is slow? I mean…” Were kisses fine or—

“Can I kiss you?”

Jeongin’s eyes widened a fraction, lips parting in delight. “Thank god,” he muttered. He sprung over the console only to be harshly pulled back, his seatbelt snapping him back in place. “Shit,” he groaned in embarrassment, covering his face with his hands.

His face warmed further when Chan’s laugh filled the space between them. But his hands fell away when he heard the click of his seatbelt. He found Chan leaning over the console, just an inch separating their lips. With his body free again, Jeongin shifted closer to Chan so that his hoodie rubbed up against Chan’s shirt. His hands wound around Chan’s waist, feeling the heat of his body through his shirt.

A hand cupped Jeongin’s cheek, angling his face closer, and then their lips met in a feather-light kiss. Chan pulled away, eyes searching Jeongin’s face as if to make sure it was okay. Jeongin reassured him by connecting their lips again. This time it was a searing kiss that made Jeongin’s toes curl. His tongue stroked languidly against Chan’s, a delicacy to be savoured. When they pulled away, their lips still lingered, cool breath brushing over Jeongin’s lips. He smiled contentedly. That kiss was better than hotteok, better than mandu. A taste that was uniquely Chan.

Or maybe that was all bullshit and Jeongin was just really,  _ really _ into him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 💕


End file.
